There is a saying that ‘the mind is good and all is good’. Laughter is the only medicine to make this mind better. Which better your mind as well as reduces stress, blood pressure, release endorphins and gives us excellent ab workout. And for this laughter we want the occasion of laughter. And that’s why we’re sharing funny quotes to give you a Occasion of laughter.
Best Funny Quotes :
- “Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say. :D”
- “Whatever it is — I didn’t do it!”
- “Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?”
- “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
- “Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.”
- “Nothing is illegal until you get caught” J
- “Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.”
- “I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.” J
- “At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.”
- “Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.”
- “Life is Short – Chat Fast!”
- “Friday is my second favorite F word.”
- “If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.”
- “I’m on a whiskey diet.. I’ve lost three days already.”
- “After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.”
- “God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China” J
- “My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!”
- “I gotta go to work today because millions of people on welfare depend on me.”
- “I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep” J
- “People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p”
Extremely Funny Quotes :
- “If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking” J
- “My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”
- “God is really creative , I mean ..just look at me :P”
- “I can handle pain until it hurts.”
- “I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi” J
- “I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. Chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!!!”
- “If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.”
- “I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice” J
- “I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them” J
- “You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”
- “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”
- “If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.”
- “I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.”
- “Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.”
- “Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.”
- “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either” J
- “I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!”
- “GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.”
- “Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D”
- “What I if told you…you the read first line wrong… same with the second…:p”
Comedy Quotes :
- “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.”
- “Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture” J
- “I’m not short, I am just concentrated awesome!”
- “Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.”
- “BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.”
- “Our generation doesn’t ring the doorbell…we text or call to say we’re outside…”
- “The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”
- “Caution, Blind Man Driving.”
- “There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh”
- “I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won” J
- “My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.”
- “If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.”
- ‘Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped” J
- “I think I got a fever, a fever of you” J
- “Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.”
- “6 Peg Loading .. :D”
- “The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” J
- “HEY YOU, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?”
- “What do girls want? EVERYTHING!!!”
- “A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
Funniest Quotes Ever :
- “When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…”
- “Be careful of following the masses – remove the “m” and who exactly are you following?”
- “If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become Sunny Deol 😛 😀 😛 :D”
- “Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.”
- “Money can’t buy LOVE but can buy WOMAN to make LOVE”
- “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.”
- “I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ;)”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.”
- “Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number :D”
- “Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.”
- “If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.”
- “Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.”
- “TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED” J
- “Laziness Is The Mother Of All Bad Habits But Ultimately She Is A Mother And We Should Respect Her.”
- “Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.
- “Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat” J
- “Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P”
- “Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..”
- “I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.”
- “Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status!”
Funny Crazy Quotes :
- “I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!”
- “Every time I drink I get awesome” J
- “I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.”
- “My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lol”
- “Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.”
- “She loves me or not but I love her a lot. :P”
- “Some people have relationships and some people have patiyala.”
- “I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat” J
- “How can I miss something I never had?”
- “Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.”
- “I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!”
- “Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.”
- “If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :D”
- “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
- “Save water drink beer.”
- “I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. :p”
- “I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz”
- “I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.” J
- “If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking” J
- “I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others… 😛 :D”
Funny Quotes In English :
- “I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves.”
- “Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?”
- “Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!”
- “It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.”
- “I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!”
- “When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy.”
- “Girl, you better have a license, coz you are driving me crazy!”
- “Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.”
- “Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me.” J
- “I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.”
- “My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.”
- “Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.”
- “We live in WTF generation – Wikipedia, twitter, facebook”
- “Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.”
- “Dear mom and dad, when I lie to you, it’s for your own good. :P”
- “Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_”
- “Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…”
- “Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.”
- “Kiss me and you will see how important I am.”
- “Flip a coin… If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine.” J
Short Funny Quotes :
- “I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.”
- “It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry” J
- “Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.”
- “I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.” J
- “Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it”
- “Bitch is just a term used for girl who refuses dog’s proposal. :P”
- “I took an IQ test and the results were negative.”
- “Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them” J
- “The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight” J
- “You can never really say what’s on your mind, when your family is on Facebook.”
- “Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.”
- “Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. Send him to KFC.”
- “I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste” J
- “When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always!”
- “I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..”
- “I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. :D”
- “Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.”
- “You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..”
- “Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL”
- “Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.”
- “Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.”
So funny 🤣